Things to think about.

So I now face a tough decision. Only, that decision isn’t tough at all. I know what I should do, I know what everyone else wants me to do, and yet, there’s something holding me back from choosing that.

Today i’ve just been thinking about how stupid i’ve been throwing something away that’s so important to me. I’ve realised how horrible it is being without them, and I haven’t exactly been able to take their picture off my wall, it’s just too final.
But I can’t just say sorry and hope things go back to normal. How can I? Who am I to totally mess them up and then expect forgiveness?
And plus if I did that i’d be messing up someone else. Even though that person doesn’t really mean anything to me, I never really wanted them, I still feel it’s unfair to get them excited/attached and then to just cut them off.

This whole problem started because I started feeling like I had to change things. How do I know that in a couple of months of being back to normal i’m going to start feeling like that again?

I hate all of this so much. I hate making decisions, especially life changing ones. Why can’t there just be a person permenantly by my side to tell me what to do in these situations?

I just want someone to give me an input, just to help me figure out what to do. I don’t know.


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