Revelation

This morning I woke up feeling so upset. I’d had a really horrible dream. For the rest of the day I kept thinking back to this dream and what had happened, and I just felt so horrible.
Then I realised that i’ve been putting someone else through what had happened to me in the dream, but in real life.

If the thing that happened in my dream happened in real life right now, I couldn’t deal with it. It would just be the end. And yet, there’s nothing stopping that from happening. If it did happen nobody would blame you because i’ve just been a complete and utter mong.

Uch, I hate knowing that it could happen at any time. What the hell have I done, really?
Why did I throw away something that made me so happy? Now I know that I might never get it back, and somebody else might have it all. And to be honest I wouldn’t blame you at all if that happened. Every other girl in the world seems like a better bet than me. And why should I get it back anyway? I don’t fucking deserve it.

I want to text you but I won’t. I dunno. I think i’ll just leave you alone right now to let you decide what happens in the future, whether i’m in or not. If you do decide to move on I won’t blame you at all.

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