Fuck-a-soup

As I sit here in my little foldy up chair, we’ve just finished putting the tent up and are now bathing in our bag of glory.

The perfect food to test out your new camping stove is a cup a soup, which seems to be advertised towards the busy housewife, with slogans such as “just finished the ironing a soup” whored all over the packet. As I don’t believe that this is how housewives really behave, I’ve thought up my own alternative names.

1) “just been fucked over the dining room table a soup”.
2) “I’ve spent the last ten minutes sitting on the washing machine a soup”.
3) “the builder came round to start on our new conservatory but ended up showing me his tool in the bedroom a soup”.
4) “my husband is obviously fucking his secretary a soup”.

Religious bands

A few years ago I was talking to my friend Jess over MSN, when she was telling about some new music she’d heard. She told my download the song “Everything” by Lifehouse. At first I wasn’t really into it, but after hearing it a few times I grew to love it, and it became one of my favourite songs. I passed it on to many other people, asking them to listen to it. I really did think it was a truly beautiful song.

A few months later and the song popped into my head, I wanted to listen to it but as we’d had a lot of computer breakyness around that time, I no longer had the MP3. I went to Youtube to watch the music video that accompanied it. It was there that I found out that song wasn’t a traditional love song like i’d first thought, it was about God.

For some reason, even though I previously loved that song, I now can’t listen to it. Or at least, it doesn’t have the same affect on me as it used to, and it actually gets me a little annoyed.

A few years ago I first heard the album Mercury, by Longview. Their music is very similar to that of Lifehouse, very touching and passionate love songs, very nice to listen to.
Unfortunatly, it’s just dawned on me that they too might be delusional God-botherers.

It sounds very shallow to say this, but I really hope they arn’t. The Mercury album brings back a lot of happy memories for me, I don’t want it to be linked to relgion and Christianity and stuff like that.
I’m almost certain that if I found out that this was what their music is about, I probably won’t be able to listen to that either.

Tempera-mental internet

On Saturday I visited one of my favourite websites b3ta to find that it had been taken offline. This has never happened in the whole year i’ve been visiting it, so I was a little suprised. I later found that it was because a fire had broken out in the Datacenter causing an assplosion and everything. For those of you who (like me) don’t know what a Datacenter is, it’s basically just where the internet lives in real life.

Luckily, for the more hardcore b3tards amongst us, there was c4mbodia. This is just a basic site that lets you register a username and post messages on a board, it’s a simpler version of /talk.
But eventually they got sick of us “raping their server” and temporarily closed down too. All we wanted was a bit of warmth and shelter. Nevermind, it was rubbish anyway.

So with all this internet borkyness all I wanted was somewhere to give all my attention to for a while. Digg is always good for that. I was browsing through the most popular posts, but when I got to page 6, I got the message: “Digg will be down for a brief period, while we make some changes.”

I am NOT impressed. This means I am going to leave the house for a while. Fucking hell.

A small update

I’ve been working on a few blog entries, but got fed up with them half way through and have saved them to work on later. It’s unknown whether i’ll bother to actually post them or not.

It’s been really sunny here lately, so i’ve been lying outside on the grass a lot. I’ve sadly gotten aquired some red and itchy sunburn which isn’t very nice, but it’s a small price to pay for the lovely weather.

I’ve just finished booking tickets for Thursday, when i’m going up to see James again. We’re going to do CAMPING in a TENT and I can’t wait. I’m really excited.

And now I have to leave due to College commitments.

Big blog entries coming soon. Maybe.

I quite fancy Badly Drawn Boy

I once worked in a Cafe down the road. Well, I say worked, if a customers order was more than a cup of tea and a sandwich I used to have to get someone else to make it.

Anyway, one day my Mum came home saying there had been a musician there that day (my Mum worked at the cafe too), but she couldn’t remember what he was called. The woman who owned the place got his autograph anyway.

A few days later my mum remembered that it was Badly Drawn Boy. The cafe is only about 5 minutes away from my house and yet she didn’t even bother to come and get me. I’m so disappointed.

Tim Daniel

On ITV’s “This Morning” right now. Absolute cunt. Don’t bother with him.

Coming soon: Top Ten People Who Get On My Nerves.

One of the worst programmes ever

This evening and I massivly hungover and annoyed at the world.
TV is the only thing that make me feel slightly better tonight.

I saw this listed as being on BBC 2 today and thought it looked interesting.

“Clinical psychologist Dr Tanya Byron asks why we judge some expressions of sexual desire as eccentric but within normal bounds, and condemn others as repugnant and dangerous”

After about 5 minutes I realised this programme had definatly been discribed wrongly. It should have been “Clinical psychology and snobby bitch Dr Tanya Byron goes around London patronizing people and looking openly disgusted as they talk to her about their private lives.”

I would have enjoyed that programme 100% more if she’d been impartial, documenting these people rather than ridiculing them.

The only part of it that I actually liked was when she sat down with a convicted pepeadophile who talked openly and honestly to her about his sexual desires and what he feels is normal. After about ten minutes she just tells him his problems are down to his past and childhood. What a fucking cop out.
He rightly told her where to go. For years he’s been seeing psychologists and doctors and they work tirelessly together to figure out the root of the problem, and she thinks she’s solved it by stating something that’s blatantly obvious and we’ve all realised anyway.

This is her. Let’s throw darts at her.