Words

When I was little, I was pretty damn adamant that I was going to become a writer.

I loved writing short stories, and i’d always be given top marks when it came to creating a tourist brochure for a foreign country (my year 6 teacher Mr. Thomas loved the time I used a clip art version of the Eiffel Tower as a substitute for the letter A). I was good at using descriptive words and writing poetry, but soon the teenage years came and I could no longer muster the brain power or the motivation.

I’ve always had a little problem with words. Verbally, anyway. I’m the worst person to come to with problems, because all the brilliant advice that I know I have in my head suddenly vanishes, and i’m just left with vaguely sympathetic comments.

And then there’s “love”. There’s been a few break-ups in my past where there’s been a million and one things i’ve wanted to say, but words stick in my throat and I can’t say them. My head is so full of clarity and my mouth just won’t cooperate. I’ve had people say that they don’t feel cared for by me because I don’t tell them I care for them. This, to me, just doesn’t make sense.

I’m not a words person, i’m an actions person. If you’ve ever got up in the middle of the night to get me a glass of water because i’ve drank to much, made me a cup of tea even though it was my turn,  made sure I had enough quilt, listened to me whinge, made the effort to come and see me, then to me, that expresses far more love than words ever could. Words do nothing, actions do something.

When I have problems, I don’t really talk about them. I mean, i’d love to, but I just can’t. The words don’t come out. I have a livejournal which is set so that only my best friend can read. Anything and everything that happens to me goes in here, if I feel at all worried or upset. It’s my little place of solace. I don’t have to worry about being laughed at because of what I say or feel, I don’t have to worry that i’m wrong. All the things that I think is subconsciously going on in my head when I try and tell someone how I really feel inside. That’s why the words don’t come out.

I don’t say the L word very often, to friends, to boyfriends, to anyone. But fuck it. It doesn’t matter. If a word means so much to you, we’re more than likely not that compatible. If you’re happy enough with me making you a cup of tea or changing your bedsheets, sit down and we’ll talk.

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My iPhone

2 weeks ago I woke up and my first thought was “i’m going to buy an iPhone today.”

Obviously, the fact that I am a poorly paid slave worker didn’t cross my mind. The man in Carphone Warehouse put up with me as I barked orders at him, pissed off that I was spending money on something that I really wanted but couldn’t really afford. Man, if you’re out there, i’m sorry. You were quite hot and under different circumstances things could have been better between us.

Anyway.  Here is a list of goods and bads about my shiney ring ring.

Goods

  • I have free texts. Well, I say free. I have to pay for the courtesy. Apparently they’re unlimited, but according to the “fair usage policy” the maximum is 3,000. I’m planning to excede this just to piss o2 off.
  • 1. Take picture of dog on the bed
    2. Upload to twitter
    3.???????
    4. Profit!
  • Foursquare. It’s an app where you tag where you are. The more places you go, the more points you get.  The bad side of this is that it tells me how many times i’ve been at work in the past month. Like I wasn’t as depressed by that enough already.
  • I can boast about my amazing phone whilst not mentioning the price.
  • The little vibration as you turn the silent button on. Mmmm.

Bads

  • By the time my contract is up, I will have spent the equivalent of my soul.
  • The horn i’ve got as my text sound frightens the dog and makes her run out the room.
  • Fuck you iTunes, FUCK YOU.  I LOVE YOU.
  • Look at that horse! Look at it! I want to take a picture of it! I can’t! It’s too far away and I don’t have a zoom! Wait! I have an app that lets me zoom! Imma use it! No! The zoom is digital! Horse is nothing but pixels! PIXEL HORSE!!
  • It’s an Apple product. But that’s okay. I’ve never said “it just works” or “did you know there are no known viruses?” or “i’m still a virgin”.

They grow up so quickly. And noisily.

Baby

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Me and James in the Lakes

Incase you haven’t seen them on his blog, here is the videos of me and James in the Lake District. Enjoy!

Part One:

Part Two:

I’m Auntie Lucy

I’m back

It has been a very busy few days. On Thursday I went up to visit James and we spent a lovely few days in the Lake District and I had so much fun. Pics can be found on this site, his Flickr or my Facebook.

Also, while I was there my Sister-in-Law gave birth to my new Nephew, Ryan, who looks absolutly gorgeous, though I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting him yet. Tomorrow will be the day!

A small update

I’ve been working on a few blog entries, but got fed up with them half way through and have saved them to work on later. It’s unknown whether i’ll bother to actually post them or not.

It’s been really sunny here lately, so i’ve been lying outside on the grass a lot. I’ve sadly gotten aquired some red and itchy sunburn which isn’t very nice, but it’s a small price to pay for the lovely weather.

I’ve just finished booking tickets for Thursday, when i’m going up to see James again. We’re going to do CAMPING in a TENT and I can’t wait. I’m really excited.

And now I have to leave due to College commitments.

Big blog entries coming soon. Maybe.