Fuck-a-soup

As I sit here in my little foldy up chair, we’ve just finished putting the tent up and are now bathing in our bag of glory.

The perfect food to test out your new camping stove is a cup a soup, which seems to be advertised towards the busy housewife, with slogans such as “just finished the ironing a soup” whored all over the packet. As I don’t believe that this is how housewives really behave, I’ve thought up my own alternative names.

1) “just been fucked over the dining room table a soup”.
2) “I’ve spent the last ten minutes sitting on the washing machine a soup”.
3) “the builder came round to start on our new conservatory but ended up showing me his tool in the bedroom a soup”.
4) “my husband is obviously fucking his secretary a soup”.

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Tempera-mental internet

On Saturday I visited one of my favourite websites b3ta to find that it had been taken offline. This has never happened in the whole year i’ve been visiting it, so I was a little suprised. I later found that it was because a fire had broken out in the Datacenter causing an assplosion and everything. For those of you who (like me) don’t know what a Datacenter is, it’s basically just where the internet lives in real life.

Luckily, for the more hardcore b3tards amongst us, there was c4mbodia. This is just a basic site that lets you register a username and post messages on a board, it’s a simpler version of /talk.
But eventually they got sick of us “raping their server” and temporarily closed down too. All we wanted was a bit of warmth and shelter. Nevermind, it was rubbish anyway.

So with all this internet borkyness all I wanted was somewhere to give all my attention to for a while. Digg is always good for that. I was browsing through the most popular posts, but when I got to page 6, I got the message: “Digg will be down for a brief period, while we make some changes.”

I am NOT impressed. This means I am going to leave the house for a while. Fucking hell.

SUPRISE!!

Pendulum

A few months ago I was green with envy when a friend told me he was going to see Pendulum live.

Now, i’m not really into Drum ‘n’ Bass. In fact I hate most of it. My brother likes to play it loud and I feel like i’m having my head kicked in.
But Pendulum are like the Prodigy. You don’t have to be into that kind of music to like them. The music just makes you happy, whatever your tastes.

In the past few weeks i’d been hearing loads of people talking about the new album they’ve just released. I wasn’t really bothered about hearing it so I didn’t download it or buy it.

But today my brother told me some amazing news. Pendulum are going to be playing in the pub just down the road from me. Yes, that’s right. Pendulum are coming to sleepy North Wales. £5,000 is being paid to have them here. And my brother is the one designing the fliers.

To celebrate he burnt me a copy of their new album “In Silico” and it is BRILLIANT.

From the very first song you just know it’s going to be good.

Sex Role Stereotypes

I’ve been lazy for far too long. I can’t put it off any longer. I need to do a proper blog entry. I have had this on my mind for some while though, so it’ll be good to finally talk about it.

A few weeks ago a lovely lady came to my Psychology lesson to spent an hour an a half explaining to us that we shouldn’t put up with Sex Role Stereotypes. She drummed it into our heads that androgynous behaviour is completly natural and normal, and we shouldn’t be forced into typical roles.
But I actually don’t see what’s wrong with tradional roles.
I live in a house where my Mum does the Washing up, Ironing and Housework, where my dad does all the DIY and Building, and I personally don’t see what’s wrong with this.

If a man enjoys cooking, that’s fine. The same if a Woman enjoys DIY, but I just don’t think people should be taught from a young age that traditional roles are wrong.
Lately there has been a lot of emphasis on the “Modern Man”, with a lot of men even being critised if they don’t help out with the upkeep of the house, regardless if they take care of other jobs around the house or not.

And anyway, women are meant to do the housework, otherwise why else would their feet be so small.

Hairy ladies

A rather large shaving cut on my leg has made me wonder once again why I do it.

Having hair is natural, from when we used to be massive, hairy Apes. So why did women first decide to start shaving? And why is having hair on our arms and legs repulsive, and yet we style and dye the stuff on our head?

I don’t like having hairy legs. I once had to let it grow in order to have it waxed a few weeks later. It was itchy and horrible and I couldn’t wait to get rid of it. My other half said that he honestly didn’t mind them being hairy, but my guess was that secretly he was also glad the hair would soon be gone.

A few months ago a woman on Richard and Judy was starting a campaign to try and get hairy models, and for women to be proud of their hair. I’m not sure wether I agree with this or not.
Like I said, having hair on our bodies is perfectly natural, and yet for some reason Society has made it seem like soemthing to be ashamed of.

Women – do you mind being hairy?
Men – what do you think of hairy girls, and do you shave your own body hair?

P.S – don’t search for “Hairy Woman” in Google with safe search off, unless you want to be flashed a prime peice of British muff.

Repeats.

So last week I got the second freeview box installed into my bedroom. The first one only showed one Channel. BBC3. This means I was forced to either watch Little Britain or Catherine Tate. And not much else.

The other night I was lying in bed flicking through the channels, I decided to have a crafty look on Dave to see if any QI was on.  There was! Loads of them! So happily, I snuggled down into my bed dreaming of what life would be like if I was 30 years older and Stephen Fry was another way inclined.
After three episodes though, something jolted me out of my little dream world. Dogs fucking. Hadn’t I heard that they get stuck together before? Yes. About two episodes before. Turns out they were only showing three episodes on loop. I found something else to watch.

Last night the same thing happened. I noticed that it was “Bottom” weekend. Great! Only a few weeks before I was thinking about buying the DVD’s, now I wouldn’t have to! I obviously hadn’t learnt my lesson. They were only showing three episodes on loop. And after hearing Phil Jupitus announce that tonight Rich would be looking for sex, I can only persume it will be the same three episodes on tonight. Either that or they’re running out of ideas for story lines and repeating them.